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Friday, August 05, 2005

Celebrity Babies

There is no better place to start this blog because we all know that celebrities give their kids craptastic names.

Apple Blythe Alison -Mom and Dad are Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

The Problems I have with "Apple" as a name:

1. It's a fruit. It's not a name.
2. Apple doesn't even sound nice.
3. Non celebs aka real people are actually naming their daughters Apple. I hate when celebs choose crazy names like these because they do start trends. Americans actually are stupid enough to use a name just because a celeb did it.

Finley Faith- Mom and Dad are Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn.

Finley is a last name. It's a male name. It's not a frickin female name! Thanks to Angie Harmon, American parents are now giving this name to their newborn girls. (American parents are already using male names on girls. We don't need clueless celebrities endorsing this stupidity) The couple also have a daughter named Avery Grace. Avery is another surname/male name. If they have a boy, his name should be Jennifer or Anne. It's only fair.

Moxie CrimeFighter -Dad and Mom are Penn Jillette and Emily.

No, it's not a comic book superhero. It's Penn Jillette's daughter. They chose her middle name because if she's pulled over for speeding she can tell the officer they're on the same side. There are no words to describe the stupidity of this name.

Audio Science Clayton- Mom is Shannyn Sossamon

WTF? Seriously. What else can you say about this one?

Banjo Patrick- Mom and Dad are Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor

Why not guitar or kazoo? His sister's name is not Cello or Tamboruine, it's Adelaide.

Racer, Rocket, and Rebel- Dad is Director Robert Rodriguez.

Suggestions for another son: Rowdy, Rumble, Ranger?

Owen- Born to Michelle Branch

Another male name on a girl. It's not original. It's not cute. It's just STUPIP and sexist. If celebrities really want to be original they will start giving their sons female names. You know that will never happen.

Pirate- This is supposedly Korn front man Jonathan Davis's son's name. I'm praying it's not true.

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