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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

A few crappy names


Manhattan Stephanie(Born in Indiana)

Major Bruce

Spring Brook(A girl, not a body of water)

Logan Marie



Monday, August 29, 2005


Hawken Michel(Someone actually thought Hawken would make a good name? wow)

Aydin Gracee (Misspelled boy's name with a misspelled middle name. Her parents went all out)

Blaiklen(It's a boy. Not sure if that is good or bad)

Kaylor Bethanie(How original. They change one letter of a popular name)

Khayton Allen(boy)(Maybe it's a bad spelling/typo for Clayton?)

Triplets: Shelby, Sheriton, and William (The boys always get better names)

Karsen Brooke(Another girl with a boy's name. )

Lawstin Chaos(His parents need to be punished severely)

Leightyn Nan(Another misspelled boy's name on a girl)

Brockway Wilson(Pretentious)

Legacie Anea(Hope she lives up to her name)

Ezra Gray(Pick up a bible! Ezra is not a female name. Neither is Gray, but whatever)

Severn Ann-Michelle(This one really shocked me. Severn is too masculine even for a boy. It sounds like a name for a romance novel character)

Constant Joy(::rolls eyes)

Thunder Blue (Not the name of a race horse. It's a baby boy)

Spirit MaKenzie (We got the spirit! Yeah, yeah. We got what what what etc)

Sunday, August 21, 2005


The parents were on drugs category:


Shernereonce Dejanae(girl)
Zsa'kayvien Teshun (boy)
Delandionn Reyking Jr.
Blezz'yen Ajoi
Honesti Lenell
Tyger Lorenzo
Joyner Thomas
Sway Elise
Chardanaé Jazzie




The Ego Dad Category:

Chaseigh (Dad is Chase)
Brentley(A girl) Her Dad is Brent.



Too Close For Twins Names Category:
Quinton and Quincy




Girls with Boy's names category:
Foley Alana
Ramsey Lynn
Taylor Ryan
Tanner Danielle
Carson Rebecca



So bad it deserves its own entry

A couple in Texas named their son Chevrolet Ethan. They are calling him Chevy.

Saturday, August 20, 2005


Juelz Nasir Savaught
(A boy. )
Lenux Michelle (How can anyone think "Lenux" makes a good name for girl?)

Caedmon Bronson(They're just making crap up now.

Grenlee(Just because it's used on a soap opera it's not a name!)

Lakyn Abbianna (More made up crap)

Kemper Brady (Kemper sounds like a dog's name)

Kaydanse Weslee Reese (I can't tell if it's a girl or a boy. Doesn't matter. :( )

Brogan Hope(How adorable! It's our precious daughter, the boot. A brogan is a boot! Morons!)

Jaksen Jaymes

McKenzie Niamkey(Well, at least it's a boy)

Ireland Ray(A girl)(See, it's not "unique". It's already been on here a few times)

Kelly-Jo Princess(Things I hate about this name: Kelly is male. Jo is hideous. Hyphens are hick. Princess is a dog's name)

Willow Wren (Is this a kid or or a bird that lives in willow trees? )

Logan Lily(Logan is such an ugly name for a girl)

Sawyer Olivia Ann(Does anyone else picture Paul Bunyan when they hear Sawyer?)

Tytan Eugene (Tytan is just mean. Tyler sucks, but it's better Tytan!)

Morrison James (Another surname for a first name. How long until we see it on girls?)

Bailey Smith (A girl)

Lexus Kay-Lee Marie (Named after a car her parents can't afford)

Braidyn Helene(Another misspelled boy's name on a girl)

Electra Kaye(Named after a stupid movie character)

Elliott Merante(The only thing worse than giving a girl a male name is when parent's call her by a female nickname. Why not name her Eleanor, Elisabeth, or just Ella?)

Stormie Mariah(Named after a horse)

Pyper Emelia(Change the spelling, but Pyper is still a hideous name)

Mecca MaryAnn (No explanation needed)

Mackenzie Woodrow(Yes, it's a girl)

Quynci Denise (Dad is Quincy)

Shady Lane Ellis(Do they know the full definition of Shady? 2. dishonest: probably dishonest or illegal
shady dealings with foreign investors)

Tillman Matthew(Destined to be a banker)

Kelby Gail(Another crap last name on a girl)

Sequoyah Jaden Blu(girl)

Henleigh(How cute. She's named after a t-shirt)

Alias Leo(Why would parents set their kid up for a lifetime of stupid jokes?)

Sunday, August 14, 2005


Brezy Lee(girl)

Talon Vasher Levi

Klassic Rickel(girl)

Heyzyll(Translation:Hazel)

StellaSerendipitymoon(That's the way the name was written. It was password protected so I couldn't see if her name was even longer. )

Presley Rose(Obsessed Elvis fans? Doesn't matter if they aren't. People will think they are. By the way Mom and Dad, Presley is a not a female name. )

Roscoe Allen(Sounds like a dog's name)

Deighton Dale(A boy)

Shayleen Briel(Destined to work at a roadside diner)

Avaughna Jane Doris Mathilda(Well, Jane and Mathilda are nice...)

Deacon Arlis(Named after Reese and Ryan's son no doubt)

Chayse Marie(Misspelling a male name doesn't make it feminine!)

Jetty(Don't know if it's a boy or a girl. )

Tawni(Destined to be a stripper)

Kamden(Brothers:Kade,Carter)There names scream born in the 2000's)

Gracyn(girl)(The correct spelling is Gracin from Greyson/Grayson. Again, not a female name.)

Adyn(girl)(See above)

Kendrew Ryley(If you can't agree on one name, please don't combine them. Misspelling a name doesn't do anything but make you look stupid )

Hudson Rose(I cannot understand how anyone can think that Hud and Son combine to make a nice name for a girl. )

Teagan Rylan(girl)

Emerson Chanel(Oh look..She's got a surname for a first name and her middle name is a brand name. How classy.)

Darian Renee(Another boy's name on a girl)

Tierney Marie(Male and way too close to tyranny)

Coebin Blaine(What the heck is a Coebin?)

Shayde Hendrix(Parents like weed I think)

Ryler Beck(Put down the pipe!)

Amber-Rae Roselani(Amber-Rae is about as hick as it gets)

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Colorado Babies With Crappy Names



Montanna Elizabeth
(Another stupid state name)
Shine James
(Shine? As in moonshine his Daddy loves so much?)
Kagen Michael

Inocencia Lynn
(I realize that this is probably an Ethnic name or a religious name. I still think it's terrible. )
Rune Alexander

Berkeley Jo
(Another girl with a hideous masculine name)
Jaymason Willis
(Translation: Jamison)
Macye Lynn
(Translation: Macie)
Gracyn Sara
(Another girl with a misspelled boy's name)
Pryce Kindt-Couture
(Yeah, it's a boy. That's all I know)
Reece and Kreityn
(Twin girls. One with a boy's name and the other apparently named Cretin.)
Samwise Delwyn
(Ok, listen up parents. If you don't like Samuel or Samson, just name your kid Sam. Please don't name him after a fictional character.)
Beck Skye
(He'll think it's as cool and unique as Mom and Dad do until they start calling him Becky)


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Poor Little New York Babies


Bruckylynn (Don't even know what to say)

McKaylee(Kaylee supersized)

Bloom Yesenia(Bloom is weird)

Jhamez(I think it's supposed to be James)

M'ryah(Brothers:Anthony,Giovanni)

De'Ajahleke(boy)(Don't know what that is)

Shydone(Don't know the gender. I think he/she done being shy or something.??)

Daytona(boy)(NASCAR fan in New York?)

Neveah Miracle(The saddest "name" to ever hit the popularity charts. Heaven spelled backwards. )

Alexzandrya Johnasia(Simple way to improve this name. Alexandria Jane)


Skylee Belle (Because Skylee is so different from Kylee)

Paris Island(girl) (Is that a prison or a military base?)




Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Rogue (This is an actual name given to a newborn boy. This is what the dictionary says about this "name":

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=rogue&x=7&y=10

1 : VAGRANT, TRAMP
2 : a dishonest or worthless person : SCOUNDREL
3 : a mischievous person : SCAMP
4 : a horse inclined to shirk or misbehave
5 : an individual exhibiting a chance and usually inferior biological variation


Baker James(Why not? Kids are named Taylor, Tyler, Mason, Sawyer etc)


Berkley Crestline (This is a girl. I don't know what's going on with that middle name. Berkley is atrocious. It's a last name! It doesn't sound appealing or feminine. Do the parents think it sounds classy? I don't get this trend. )


Hunter Cook (So he will hunt down his food and cook it too)


Braxtyn Lynnea(A girl) (Tyn is so much more feminine than ton)

Hewitt Stirling (So pretentious. )

Mackynlee Gail(This is getting depressing

Logan Paige(Another girl)

Pepper Frances(a girl)One of the definitions of pepper(2 : to hit with rapid repeated blows) That's in her future for sure.


Ryder Wolff(I realize that Wolf can be Native American, but there is no NA name called Ryder




Monday, August 08, 2005

Misspelled Names Galore

Jay'Den Victor (The tacky apostrophe will not distinguish this kid from all of the other kids named Jayden when the teacher calls out the name in school.)

Breleigh Elizabeth (The name sounds hideous and it looks even worse)

Treydon Michael (Trey is bad enough. Treydon is just cruel)

Dametrious Cavontae (Why put the word Dame in your son's name? )

Logan Brooke (Examples of female names.. Sarah, Anna, Amelia, Isabella, Hannah, Victoria, Vera.. Logan and Brooke are not female!)

Kellyn Rae (They took over Kelly and now they're going for Kellan/Kellen. Will this madness ever end?)

Mckayla Briana (The name is Michaela. It's mih KAY lah. It's not MC kayla!)

Carrington Constance (Using a wealthy sounding surname doesn't make you sound classy.)

Blessing Knaya (Couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl. Doesn't really matter, does it?

Payge McKenzi( Two misspelled male names. How cute. :::gags:::)

Lyric-Journey (girl) (Her siblings are Sterling, Sayelur, and Michael)
(That Michael is one lucky little boy. )

Kynzingtan Lundynn (What is this craze with naming kids after places? And misspelling the names? I pray this kid never goes to England.)

crazy names from CA

Jamaica Jasmin (Another stupid place name to add to the growing list)

Jaxson Cash Lee (Jackson is a dumb enough name without being misspelled. Jaxson is stupid. If you have the X you don't need the S. The X replaces the S. Cash? Why is this a "name?")

Paisley Sue (Named after an ugly fabric. Sue is too sad to even bother with. )

Mystik Melody (Does Mystik really sound feminine to these people? eww)

My'Kole Carolyn Ruth (On the bright side, she has two good names)

Ma'Syn Dion(My sin? Mason? yikes!)

Emma'Lee Anne (So "unique". :::pukes:::)

Einstein M. T. (And I thought Wisdom was bad. This kid had better be a genius)


Love Joy(Named after her parents favorite Simpson's character?)


Haylene Daniella

Jolene Frances
(Two -lene names in one month? This had better not be a new trend. )

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Jersi Emma (Jersey as in New Jersey? A crappy state. Maybe it's for the article of clothing. Or perhaps her parents are a fan of the type of Cow.

Chassitty Jazzman Dohun
#1.If parents must name their kids after a word, please spell it right.
#2. Do not put the words man, men, son, or use Mc or Mac for girls.
#3. What is a Dohun?

Promise Anton Lorenzo (Promise him what?)

Vegas Brianna (Named after the city in which she was conceived no doubt)

Kahlen Sky(Contort the spellings however you like, Colin will always be a male name. Sky? Come on people. It's not the 60s anymore. There are no hippies.

King Jewellious Armon(Your kid is not royalty. This is not England. It's Julius!
::sighs:: )

Starla Ann-Marie (Destined to live in a trailer)

Wisdom Noel (This is a girl. I hope she's not a moron. )

Brinsleigh Renea (I'm sorry, but EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! How ugly and masculine)

Coen Bradley (Some people need to turn the TV off! Coen is a surname. It's not a "name." It's Seth's last name on The O.C. people. His last name! Not a first name! More on Coen.. "in Judaism, a person recognized as a descendant of Aaron. The cohanim were priests in the Temple in ancient Jerusalem, and a man identified as a cohen still retains specific obligations in Orthodox Judaism today" From encarta.com )

Precious Joy (Destined to be a terror. )

Chailyn Syngular (Now they're naming kids after cell phone companies)

Master Smith (Future rap star)

Skyelytt Ann (Skylight? )

Paulretta Anasia(Dad is Paul. Is there something wrong with Pauline or Paula? )

Just your random hideous names



Aydan Serenity (Some clueless parents think male names can be made feminine if the name is misspelled.) As for the middle name

October Grace (This kid was born in July. )

Gates Michael (Can we say pretentious?)

Andlee David (One parent probably wanted Andrew and the other Lee so they gave the kid an ugly made up name that he will always have to explain. "No, it's not Andy short for Andrew. It's Andlee!" )

Zander Montana (His Mom must have been a Buffy fan. She probably had a crush on Xander. It's Xander, not Zander! No boy's name should ever contain "ana or anna")

Indianna Breeze (Suggestions for a sibling.. Florida Hurricane, Kansas Tornado, Utah Snow, New York Sleet, Montana Blizzard, Texas Hail etc)

Avery Don (Not only does she have two male names, she also has a hick middle name. Way to go parents!)

Daryn Marie (Her Dad is Darren of course. Obviously, The "y" makes it "girly". Mr. Ego Dad couldn't wait to get a son. He had to name his daughter after himself. Why would a woman allow this? There is no way the Dad would allow his son to be called Lisa after the Mom. )

Taden Michael (Because Taden is so different from the thousands of babies named Aidan, Braden, Jaden, Caden, Hayden ...)

Mystik Watters ( Mom decided to go ahead and give her the perfect stage name for when she takes after Mom and becomes a stripper.)

Friday, August 05, 2005

Bad Names From The Net

Persephanie Jinx (A misspelled first name with Jinx as a middle name. Which is worse?)

Eternity Irene (Named after Mom's favorite perfume? Maybe her parents think she will actually live forever. Maybe she's a vampire)

Delta Rei (Perhaps Mom or Dad work for the airline.)

Sophia Apple ( Such a nice first name. As for the middle name..It screams.."My Mom and Dad are celeb obsessed. )


Madden Marie (I'm guessing her parents don't own a dictionary)

Byryn William (I suppose Byryn is a "hip" version of Byron. )

Ireland Warren (I'm shocked that it's a boy. Ireland is a "name" on the rise for girls. Sibling suggestions: Denmark for a boy. Poland(Polly for a girl)

Baylin Kyle (A made up name with a "girly" spelling. I pity this poor child )

Chevy Jordan James (It's better than Toyota or Dodge I suppose )

Rafferty Jared (Another baby with celeb obsessed parents. Rafferty is the name of Jude Law's son. )

Celebrity Babies


There is no better place to start this blog because we all know that celebrities give their kids craptastic names.

Apple Blythe Alison -Mom and Dad are Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

The Problems I have with "Apple" as a name:

1. It's a fruit. It's not a name.
2. Apple doesn't even sound nice.
3. Non celebs aka real people are actually naming their daughters Apple. I hate when celebs choose crazy names like these because they do start trends. Americans actually are stupid enough to use a name just because a celeb did it.

Finley Faith- Mom and Dad are Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn.

Finley is a last name. It's a male name. It's not a frickin female name! Thanks to Angie Harmon, American parents are now giving this name to their newborn girls. (American parents are already using male names on girls. We don't need clueless celebrities endorsing this stupidity) The couple also have a daughter named Avery Grace. Avery is another surname/male name. If they have a boy, his name should be Jennifer or Anne. It's only fair.

Moxie CrimeFighter -Dad and Mom are Penn Jillette and Emily.

No, it's not a comic book superhero. It's Penn Jillette's daughter. They chose her middle name because if she's pulled over for speeding she can tell the officer they're on the same side. There are no words to describe the stupidity of this name.

Audio Science Clayton- Mom is Shannyn Sossamon

WTF? Seriously. What else can you say about this one?

Banjo Patrick- Mom and Dad are Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor

Why not guitar or kazoo? His sister's name is not Cello or Tamboruine, it's Adelaide.

Racer, Rocket, and Rebel- Dad is Director Robert Rodriguez.

Suggestions for another son: Rowdy, Rumble, Ranger?


Owen- Born to Michelle Branch

Another male name on a girl. It's not original. It's not cute. It's just STUPIP and sexist. If celebrities really want to be original they will start giving their sons female names. You know that will never happen.

Pirate- This is supposedly Korn front man Jonathan Davis's son's name. I'm praying it's not true.